Gumbee Writers’ Fight Scenes, Part 2, Sandra Giles

If I were to post an excerpt depicting an entire fight scene from one of my novels, it would take up a lot of space. I’ve instead taken a piece from a fight for leadership that takes place in Eternal Sentence. The way I write fight scenes is by using a mixture of cunning and strength from my characters in order for them to achieve a victory. The fighters here are both vampires, so there are never fights to the death. They instead fight until someone is unconscious or decapitated. It means they often have to go to extremes to win. This particular battle is in a stadium filled with people, and they make it more interesting for their audience to watch by introducing the use of weapons. Jared, whose point of view this reads from, has decided to use a defensive strategy that is actually quite laughable. He has oil over his body, the reason for which becomes clear at the end of the fight. James, his opponent, is using a type of chainsaw-meets-sword.

My main trait when writing a fight scene is to make it fairly clumsy. My main character is often clueless about what he’s doing, and so resorts to winging it a lot of the time. It makes him easier to relate to. He has no real fighting skills, so makes plenty of mistakes along the way. It makes any victory from him all the sweeter, as though he’s fighting for us regular folk.

That in mind, here’s a small piece from this fight for leadership, though this particular segment doesn’t show much of the actual fighting. Hopefully you’ll get the gist of it.


“Did you really think that a bit of oil would make you harder to destroy?” James asked, bringing the chainsaw down a fraction with every word he spoke. “This isn’t a human wrestling match that you can win by cheap tricks. A gun would have been cowardly, but this is just pathetic.” He eased up on the blade slightly so that he could indicate my oil-soaked body. It was enough of a move for me to take hold of the handle and roll, driving the blade deep into the ground as I did so. Again it meant that I suffered yet more damage as the blade bit into my skin, but it was the best I could manage with the position I was in.

I flung James off me and drove the weapon deeper into the ground. It stuttered as it tried to continue moving its many small blades, but in the end the technology failed. The weapon died, and I happily put the deceased deep in the ground where it belonged. Only the very tip of the handle could be seen, and James was furious.

He leapt onto my back as I did my best to hide the weapon completely from view. His hands found my throat and he tried to fight the slippery substance and get a good choking hold on me. I pulled at his hand and it came away easily, and used my advantage to flip him over me.

As I straddled him, he lashed out at every part of my body he could get at. It would have been quite amusing if my body wasn’t raw and bloody. He took his advantage and dug his hand into the mess that was my stomach. I grabbed his hand instinctively and crushed it, causing him to howl. I took the distraction so that I could do some more damage. As his wrist snapped, his hand went limp inside my body so that I was able to dislodge it.

I pinned his hands over his head and lowered my body to his. He seemed genuinely concerned that I was making sexual advances, and cared more for his virtue than for his safety. Fine by me.



Filed under Gumbee Fantasy Writers' Guild

8 responses to “Gumbee Writers’ Fight Scenes, Part 2, Sandra Giles

  1. Love that last bit. 😉

  2. I liked the last bit too, kind of nonchalant tongue in cheek attitude that gives the writing a little something different. From discussions with you on the threads Sandra I’d say that’s your voice coming through the character and givingit a greater depth.

  3. marcuspailing

    Thanks for sharing that, Sandra. Enjoyed it!

  4. Thanks, guys. It’s amusing you like the last bit! That’s pretty much me all over.
    Not that I do that kind of thing..

  5. So all I have to do to gain approval is introduce a bit of questionable man on man action? Hmm..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.